Story Reader / Floating Record / ER02 Cinder Burns / Story
The moment Noan holds Lithos' hands, the floodgate holding back his memories instantly collapses.
Old memories and new confusions interweave, entangled as they tug at each other, forming a disorderly spiral.
...Ha. I'm indeed... Ashlar's people... He was right.
I failed the moment I decided to work with him and hurt other people to arm ourselves, consequences be damned.
They're all dead?! Why?! WHY?!
I don't need your apology! I want you to pay with your life! You said you were different from them?! What good could possibly come out of it when you stand next to an Ascendant?!
Crimson blood and horrid cries rush across his mind in an instant.
It'll be quite tragic if this is what we've been working toward and looking forward to.
His jumbled memories turn into a blizzard, setting off an avalanche.
We're all wrong... No one can pass the filtering.
...That's the price, isn't it?
At the end of every memory is a lone survivor lying in the freezing snow as he watches the dark sky.
Accept the gifts of the Ascension-Network.
Noan replies with a sneer filled with immense grief under the falling snow in the forever darkness.
Otherwise, you won't be able to change anything.
This was my only choice. Otherwise, I wont't be able to change anything.
...Huh?
Coming to his senses, Noan finds himself sitting inside Rachel's compartment. It is one in the morning, and he has just returned after hiding the weapons he received from Bella Bethe inside Carriage G.
Noan can remember that... the fight with the upper-level guards is seven hours away.
Why are you looking all distracted? Weren't you asking Rachel why she's working with Ashlar?
I'm sorry. I was indeed distracted. Can you explain it again?
...Sure. The fight is about to start, anyway. I'll tell you whatever you want to know.
Rachel raises the glass in her hand before gulping down her moonshine.
Because it was my only choice.
She repeats her words.
Cargo Crew was a disorganized mess. Teams would fight with each other to get a larger share and a safer assignment.
I wanted to change that, but I had nothing but my fists. I only had one belief—I could fight my way out of this.
Obviously, a stupid idea like that didn't get me anywhere. Every time I wanted to start something, the aristocrats would make me pay. When they were about to kick me off the train... Julie saved me.
Mom?
Yeah. She just met your father back then. She became his secretary by being the hardworking badass she was.
She couldn't stand the turmoil of the lower level, so she reached out to me... We talked, over and over, until we found the only way through—Ashlar.
Speaking of which, your father was the one who introduced us. He brought me to the man who wanted to replace the aristocrat, and Ashlar and I made a deal.
I scared the aristocrats who wouldn't work with him through the armed disturbances on the lower level, and he gave me connections and supplies to unite the people against the upper level.
After our many successes, folks started treating me like an undefeatable "hero" and put me in charge of the Cargo Crew.
Anyone could ask me for help because an upper-level aristocrat with actual power was standing behind me.
Ironic, right? But I didn't have to worry. I could deal with anything.
Don't worry. You can deal with this. All these Corrupted will be under your command.
Noan's vision suddenly distorts and turns into a foggy harbor. Lithos is holding his hand, patiently guiding his move.
This is the memory of Noan waking up not long after becoming a Construct. He has forgotten who he is and what Ascendants are.
He is simply trusting this other person wholeheartedly, the person who has stood by him and told him "every" secret.
Give it a shot. You can even bring the law and order of the Golden Age to them. They'll move things, rebuild ruins...
Just don't control too many things at once before you're used to it.
...Like this? But they don't seem to be listening to me.
That's alright. I'll help you.
Holding Noan's hands, Lithos points them at the crooked Constructs.
Let them do what you want to do and save who you want to save...
Free yourself from that harrowing powerlessness and become a real "hero."
...
What is it?
You never told me what the price of this power is.
Thinking back, Noan supposes his instinctual alertness as a "merchant" must have prevailed.
I just need you to become one of us... Not a lot of people can pass the filtering. I cherish you, and I want you to stay.
What then? What do you want me to do after I become one of you?
The things he asked of me started mounting up after he thought he'd "helped" us enough.
Noan's vision jumps to the night before the fight once again. Rachel sits before her desk, sneering at her glass self-mockingly.
Looking at this scene, Noan notices a sense of danger amidst the uneasiness—there are only seven hours left until the upcoming battle. Why is Rachel still drinking and chatting with Assad?
We were just tasked to take care of some jerks and their shady businesses initially. Then, innocent folks started getting involved.
Until one day, Ashlar asked me to take care of your father... because he'd started to "misbehave" too.
I'm sorry...
I didn't realize Ashlar had bought a few other reckless fools apart from us. Had I known, I would have protected Julie if nothing else... Your father, too.
It's too late to say anything now. Her face was scarred in the end, and she landed on the lower level with you still inside her belly.
Then she started to change... The stories she loved and the dreams she believed in were all hidden underneath her mask without a trace.
To get a chance to fight back and free us from Ashlar's control... she agreed with my idea to manipulate the books in order to gather weapons for the Cargo Crew.
...You realized that long ago, didn't you? Or someone told you?
Yeah. People have said things.
I know I shouldn't trust Shauna and Weyland to hide anything from you.
She sighs, staring at the murky liquid inside her glass.
Julie was different from me and Assad. She wasn't born to be a bad guy. She had been on edge ever since she started tampering with the numbers.
She said you ought to hang with other people, but she would start panicking the second you stepped out of sight.
Was that why she agreed to let me stay in the book storage room?
Yeah. I told her to keep you around if she was worried, but she was afraid of how you'd react if her crime was exposed after you two got close.
She would tell herself that she was doing it for everyone's future as if needing to convince herself. Then she'd start thinking about how you'd survive after she was gone.
I've been harsh on you, and that's because I'm worried that you're spending way too much time on drawing to pick up skills that are going to help you survive.
But deep down... she wished you got to do what you love—be it reading, drawing, or being with the people you like.
...She once told me, "I hope you get to become who you want to be."
Did she, now? I should leave you with a word or two, then—whatever future you want, don't make the mistakes I've made.
She said that too.
Rachel pauses for a second before lowering her head and laughing, her whole body shaking uncontrollably.
Captain Rachel?
That's how it is, isn't it? It was wrong to begin with, and we could only fix the sins of our past with new mistakes...
I knew it was wrong, but there was no way to stop.
This is the afternoon he wakes up after he has lost his memories for the first time.
Standing in front of an endless Red Tide, Lithos caresses the glass jar in his arms longingly.
I just wanted to protect everyone...
I've been thinking about how to allow humans to coexist with the Punishing Virus all these years because I realized there wasn't a way to eradicate the virus completely.
Haha... You look like you're wondering why an Ascendant would want something like that.
Lithos holds the jar up, staring woefully at the things inside.
These are what remain of my "family."
My father left me at an orphanage because of my disability.
It was a heaven for adults but a hell for children. Every second there was torment, but we kids survived with our "mother" by protecting each other...
I saw selfish people and selfless souls. I was hurt, and I was also aided. My feelings toward humankind are more complicated than simple love or hate, and that's how I feel about the Punishing Virus too.
The outbreak broke down the fortified cage of the orphanage. My siblings and I escaped, led by our "mother," and we finally got our freedom.
...So I was once grateful for this calamity.
...Until it took away everyone I loved one by one.
Can you understand how I feel now?
...
I just wanted to protect everyone. Anyone that was left behind.
Don't be afraid. The Red Tide isn't something cruel. They might not be living as individual beings, but they're reborn through it.
This may not be the ideal choice, but... it is the best option I can find.
As long as something remains... even in this unliving state... it will be better than death.
...This is the only way for those of us who have survived... to see those who died... to see her again...
Lithos grabs their long purple hair instinctually as if holding onto the remains of someone they deeply care about.
I know you wish to stay with real humans instead of the "shards" that form these projections.
But you will inevitably be betrayed if you give your trust to other people. You can only protect yourself and others if you hold absolute power.
I've learned that lesson, and so should you... Remember how the Cargo Crew ended?
How it ended?
Did you forget? Right. You've already forgotten about it once, after all...
Now, remember... and tell me your choice.
We told you we didn't have a choice!
Noan's confused mind returns to the night before the battle once again.
What would you have us do? Those weapon manufacturers couldn't trade their weapons for our enthusiasm, could they?
They needed to put food on their tables as well. Not to mention that the Cargo Crew's reputation got tarnished after the Blessing Boxes. No one would have listened if we hadn't had something to offer.
I might not agree with Rachel on a lot of things, but I think she was right to work with Ashlar and split the profit of the Blessing Boxes with him.
The Blessing Boxes stopped selling long ago. Where did our recent supplies come from?
We still have Barbra.
The person who took over Mom's job?
That's right. My wife used to be a really good cook, hehe.
But you said...
There was no way I'd trust her. These two have been up to no good behind my back. I suspected Barbra for some of the "food poisoning" incidents in the past, but I couldn't find the proof.
Assad is only working with us because he failed to get a good seat on the upper level. He wouldn't have given a damn about the rest of us if he were enjoying his life.
Why are you keeping him here, then?
Because he has connections within the Cargo Crew and the upper level. He is still useful to me.
—But could someone untrustworthy have provided a steady source of supplies?
I know it's not feasible long-term. What we took was ours to begin with. The supplies she got from manipulating the books were the payment meant for the Cargo Crew and the Bumblebees.
Hungry people will bite anyone if enough time has passed.
The more people with their own agenda, the fewer we could trust... In the end, we were dismantling ourselves for the enemy.
Hmph! Why bother when we can just throw them off the train when we discover them?
Was that what happened to Bancroft all those years ago?
...
I can't do anything if you insist on thinking that way.
Perhaps Assad is drunk or simply annoyed, he does not deny Noan's words firmly this time.
Do you think I got him killed all those years ago?
But I didn't do a damn thing. I have no idea why his son was gone, either.
Regardless, I was genuinely glad that someone troublesome like him disappeared while searching for his son. I didn't try to look for him, but that didn't mean I killed him, you hear me?
...
Noan, aren't you turning eighteen soon?
Yes. Why?
Field has disappeared for about five years by now, hasn't he?
...
I know you always wanted to look for him at City 074, but missions from the Cargo Crew have kept you away. And you couldn't find anything even when you had the chance to go near that place.
I did the same. I've privately tasked people to look for Field multiple times over the years. There was news every now and then, but there was nothing we could confirm, so I never told you about any of this.
Is that true? You have news about him?!
I told you I couldn't confirm if that was him.
Once the business with the train is over, you can leave the Cargo Crew and look for him yourself.
Leave the Cargo Crew?
Yeah. Most people who stay here don't have a choice, but you're different. You're young. You should go see the world.
When do you plan to make your move?
Sooner, the better. All the weapons are hidden inside the train now, so stalling is only going to put us in more danger. I'll start making plans after the two other teams return in a few days.
She finishes her drink and puts down her glass. Only now does Noan realize something is not quite right.
How much did you drink today, Captain Rachel?
Haha! Just this one glass. But she's a lightweight; ten more minutes and she'll crash here, I'm telling you.
It's a virtue to get drunk after a few sips. Alcohol is expensive here.
Didn't you say you still have to confirm the intel? Your current state...
Tonight's fine. They won't be back that quickly. Show me your "assignment" first. Is your Rev Blade assembled?
...Yes.
Noan passes his Rev Blade to Rachel. Carefully, she inspects it under the dim light.
Not bad. You're a good self-learner.
It took me a whole day to figure out what each of those parts was.
It's good enough for you to take the time to study it. If it were Assad or his underlings...
Haha, what do you expect? They'd have traded the parts for drinks the moment they stepped out of here!
...
My mom used to say, "Don't be the fools who burned the books to stay warm. Only those who learn from the books can survive."
Don't be the fools who burned the books to stay warm...
Ha... Yeah. Those who don't read but burn books to stay warm are indeed fools.
Rachel looks at her reflection inside the glass, disgusted.
Sometimes I feel like Julie was right about a lot of things when I look at you.
She lowers her head and continues speaking as if she cannot stop.
"Attitude determines altitude," that's what the old folks used to say. You're patient enough to understand and learn, which means you're much better than many who are already six feet under the ground.
Even though she wanted to send you to the Cargo Crew when you were nine...
She did that only because she was anxious. Julie wasn't the fittest person. With the work she was involved in... she was worried that she would leave you too early and you wouldn't be able to survive on your own.
...
She wouldn't tell me about any of it, and I only knew that she coughed a lot. If you didn't tell me afterward, I wouldn't have known that she was sick all along.
How could you not know? Ha, go take a look at yourself in the mirror. You're the same.
Rachel's vision has blurred from her drinking.
...We're the same?
Yeah. Before she put on that mask, she was about your height, and her eyes were as stubborn as yours...
Her hair and clothes were as dark as yours. Didn't make a sound when she walked, that woman. Couldn't spot her at night when the lights were off.
...You know, sometimes I really wish you'd stick that firefly on your shoulder. I wouldn't have to worry about losing you in a night shift.
I tried my best to make some noise.
Who can tell the sound you make when the fight begins?
Looking at Noan's dark hair, Rachel suddenly laughs as if thinking of something funny.
Why don't you dye your hair into a rainbow?
Tch. Why don't you treat your night blindness instead of bothering the kid?
Night blindness? Me? Impossible!
Impossible, my ***! Didn't the doctor prescribe you a bottle of vitamin A last year? It was practically full when you gave it away earlier this year.
Who's free to dye someone's hair nowadays, anyway? Kid's stuck with his hair unless he becomes a Construct or something.
None of us would have stayed here and worked our lives away if we could just become a Construct.
Have you ever tested your whatever affinity?
What affinity?
Tan-something-something... I forgot. I heard that you need the affinity to have a shot of becoming a Construct.
Ha, you could also just die during the surgery.
Enough. He can figure it out in the future... This young man has all the time in the world.
Rachel waves her hand drunkenly.
Either way, I'll make sure you live.
Either way? What does that mean?
What does it mean? Ha...
I'll tell you all about it when it's over. Right now... some things...
...are still uncertain...
Rachel's head slams on the desk.
Captain Rachel?!
Alright, let her sleep. Sometimes you have to let it all out after you hold onto your secrets for too long.
The fight is in a few days. She's no superwoman; she could use a sip to pump herself up.
...
Let's put her somewhere she can lie down.
Sure!
Noan wants to find a blanket to cover Rachel after laying her down, but he can only find a jacket hanging on the back of the chair in the compartment.
Hey, that's mine. Give it back.
Sorry.
Right as Noan is about to hand Assad the jacket, he accidentally touches the folds by the collar and notices something unusually rigid inside.
...?
What is it?
Your jacket...
Noan flips over the collar and inspects it, finding a meticulously hidden seam at the fold.
He tears apart the seam carefully, and a thin piece of machine falls out.
...Is that... a wire?! How long have you had it?
...
Assad!
Sigh... That's...
Assad evades Noan's gaze. He hesitates for a second before grabbing his jacket from Noan and grinning embarrassingly.
It hasn't been that long. Just a few hours.
You know I don't usually wear a coat. Barbra gave me the jacket yesterday.
We've been talking about our plans and the weapons we moved to the train all this time! Captain Rachel says no one outside this room can know!
Don't worry about it. My wife keeps suspecting I'm seeing someone behind her back, so she's just checking who I've been calling and looking into the ladies I've been meeting. She's not interested in the weapons whatsoever.
Relax. Rachel and I have been eating at Barbra's, and she's been helping us with the books! We're all in the same boat, aren't we? Stop being so suspicious!
How about me going to Barbra now and making sure she doesn't spill the beans? That sounds good to you?
But...
But what? What else are we going to do? Rachel's going to sleep for at least five hours after she's drunk, so good luck waking her up! Niino and Shauna won't be back until the morning!
You haven't eaten, have you? There's still canned food on the table. Finish them and go to bed. We'll sort out this mess after Rachel wakes up.
No, that's too risky.
Risky? When did you get so distrustful like Rachel? How many supplies has Barbra helped gather for the Cargo Crew? What good will it do her if our little sting here got exposed? Stop sticking your nose into our marriage!
Stop staring; I've gotta catch Barbra now before something else goes awry. And if you tell anyone about us and embarrass me, I'll make sure you regret it, you hear me?
Watching Assad walk away somehow reminds Noan of Bancroft.
Assad!!!
Assad rushes away with a charged expression as Bancroft did, stumbling as he leaves the compartment and soon disappearing from Noan's sight.
...
