Story Reader / Interlude / Faith on the Snow / Story
Losing Myself
God has taught us to be holy, righteous, loving, giving; to love the enemy, fast, pray; to walk in the light, to not be greedy, not to judge; to be sincere and to stay on the path.
...To love.
But what is love to a... mechanoid? Does love really exist?
Even all the sacred texts in the database failed to tell me.
...Until I found a baby in the vast snow land, a human baby.
She was cowering her fragile body, her skin purple from the cold, yet she quietly looked up at me with her golden eyes.
My neural network ran sophisticated calculations and the conclusion I reached was that, even the angel of love was nothing compared to her.
I raised her. Mechanoids have no concept of time, but I found that 567648000 seconds passed by in a flash.
Bianca, my child, my kind, gentle, strong, and brave child. She loves the world and is full of faith...
Even in this time when faith is scarce, when mechanoids teach religion. And I never could tell her the truth.
I could explain all religious texts, recite all teachings, yet love was taught to me by my child.
If only I were human... If I am qualified as her guardian...
If I can see... Bianca, my child... Grow up.
...If only.
When I saw Miyi, I already understood... I understood that I would never get to see...
I separated Bianca from me, had her lead the others away while I locked myself in the basement of the church.
I took off the chains on the cross and tightly chained myself up, so tight that the truth of my mechanic presence under the human-like skin was revealed...
God loves the world, God blesses the world, yet as a mechanoid, I cannot nor do I need the blessing or protection...
But if my constant prayers and pious devotion are worth anything...
Please protect my child, Bianca... And all the other human children like Bianca.
They are all angels who have fallen into this world...
God, if I ever lose myself, I am willing to accept any judgment and punishment...
Bianca, my child... Please be safe...
