Story Reader / Affection / Noan: Arca / Story
Just like Noan expected, the incident in the library quickly attracted nearby patrolling Constructs.
The interrogation and investigation lasted the entire morning. Noan was finally released when Gray Raven's commandant was awakened and testified that it was not the drink's fault. He walks back to the preparation room.
What a rare sight. I thought you were always free?
Sorry, I...
—If he tells them what happened, Commandant Simon will probably become depressed again.
I spent some time with the Gray Raven Commandant outside.
Can't you think of some other excuses for being late?
Um, I was asked to bring this cookie from Zone L to Commandant Simon.
He takes out the cookies and gives both to Simon.
Noan, I have already heard about the incident in the morning.
They contacted me the moment you were brought over. After all...
Will you be held accountable if something really happens?
Simon nods in silence.
So I went to check with Chief before you came back.
...
I'm not going to blame you. It wasn't your fault. Even if you tried to hide it from me... I know you just didn't want me to worry.
Still, I wish you can tell me and trust me if possible. We are teammates, after all.
Teammates? Really? Your attitude betrays you. Noan and you are actually identical in some way. You both look so kind and helpful, but you always shut people out. It's impossible to talk to you.
What?
Don't you realize it? Sometimes, you look like you are so concerned about passing your trouble to others. So you always keep a distance from people.
I think you are no different in that aspect.
Tsk.
But Commandant Simon isn't like what you said.
Alright, fine. Everything is a mission.
Sorry to keep a rising star like you away from the battlefield. It's all our fault.
No, they assigned me to a restructured squad because they were concerned about my health.
All those problems will disappear once we get used to one another.
Hmph, what an optimistic fool.
I'll take that as a compliment.
Palma snorts and stops talking.
Thanks, Noan. But... Chief gave this gift to you. You shouldn't give it to me.
Simon gives one of the cookies back to Noan.
Gift?
To him, the cookie was just a piece of food that commandant casually handed over. It carries no special meaning and should be given to someone who appreciates it more.
As a Construct, I no longer need to eat. You should have it. I remember you said it tasted good.
...Is this your habit?
What?
You are too used to showing your kindness, even if something is supposed to be yours.
But...
It's just a piece of cookie.
I brought this up not just because of the cookie, but of all the things that happened lately.
He lets out a sigh as if he can read Noan's facial expression.
You are always easy to approach and gentle. Whether you are treated kindly or badly, you can accept it with ease.
When you first came to Dark Aries, I felt you were just like a lake.
I felt like all those observations and experiments were stones thrown into a lake. After some splashes and ripples, there was no further reaction.
Maybe that's your strength... That is how you are able to stay calm until now.
Unlike Palm... Um, I mean it's easier for me to talk to you.
Ha...
But that also gradually alienates you from other people.
...Me?
I'm not blaming you. I know you don't want to see this happen.
The affiliation with Ascendants, the abnormality in your frame, even the rumors in ACA related to the name "Noan"...
Compared with all that, I prefer to trust my own decision after spending all this time with you.
There is a hint of bitterness in Simon's tone. He never purposely keeps a distance from Noan, but his mission and duty force him to always be on guard.
I tried to stop them from monitoring or suspecting you. Sorry, I couldn't change anything in the end...
I know I'm probably asking too much, but I don't want you to lose yourself in this stressful environment.
You shouldn't be treated that way. You were a hero who saved them...
It's okay, I understand. There are too many unknowns and abnormalities in my frame. It's only a necessary precaution.
...
I can't really change anything.
But if someone can see the real you, and is able to disregard all the restrictions to lend you a hand...
He picks up the cookie and places it in Noan's hand solemnly.
I know eating is not necessary for Constructs. But even if it is only a small nice gesture...
Can you please not pass it on to others? It's not a stone thrown into the lake.
...
Otherwise, you would be rejecting someone that is willing to believe in you.
I see.
Thank you, Commandant Simon.
After the regular meeting, Noan stays back alone in the preparation room of Dark Aries. Looking at the cookie in his hand, he gets lost in thought.
It is not a rare treasure to the humans living in Babylonia.
The cookie is made in the shape of a smiley bear, with colorful candies on it. It is sealed in a transparent, shiny box.
In the old days... Whether he was in the lower cabin levels or wandering, he could only get very limited food.
Most people could hardly find enough things to eat, let alone make them in such a delicate form.
Before he came here, Noan had never seen any food like this.
All the instant soup, cans, hardtack or even grass and bark he gathered were nowhere near tasty. He was only eating to survive.
When Noan became a Construct, he was truly delighted because he no longer needed to eat, nor would he ever suffer from hunger. He could finally give his food to others who needed them more.
Give non-essential supplies to those who need it most. This is the principle that Noan learned from the crowd. Back then, they must help one another to survive.
So he did not hesitate at all when giving the cookie to Simon.
It's a... gift...
If accepting this gesture of kindness can earn him a moment of relief in this abyss of depression...
...
He opens the delicate box. Before he can take out the cookie inside, a note drops out.
...?
Is this why Simon insisted to return the cookie to him?
Slightly confused, he picks up the folded note. There is a line of small text on it.
—Nobody will forbid you from drawing here. Your work is beautiful. Please don't throw it away.
...
Noan falls into a long silence staring at the note.
After what seems an eternity, he finally understands that all his actions—giving food to others, hiding his drawings, responding to hatred and rumors with kindness—all have one reason behind them.
...I'm still trapped in my old habits.
He already made up his mind to take this opportunity to embrace a new future.
But once he finds himself in an environment where he is watched and monitored, the self-defense instincts that he once gave up have come back again.
Don't you realize it? Sometimes, you look like you are so concerned about passing your trouble to others. So you always keep a distance from people.
I shouldn't...
Habits can never be changed easily. Besides, you have always been a stubborn one.
Sometimes, when you make yourself cornered again, you just need a friend to wake you up.
...
Noan lowers his head and grasps the note. He puts the bear cookie in his mouth—it is almost too delicate to be eaten.
...
...It's so sweet.
